drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
