I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
