Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
