Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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