Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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