my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
