So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
