I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
