weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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