4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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