i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
