im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I intend to get homeless drunk
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
