His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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