Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
oh god the rape fog is back!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's always time for handjobs
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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