so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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