I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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