my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
