Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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