i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
