As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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