Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
