if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
