I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
