i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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