i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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