is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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