sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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