this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
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Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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