i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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