They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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