I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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