the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
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I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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