So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
