We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He felt like a one man threesome
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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