Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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