Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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