There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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