sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He shit in the fireplace
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
