A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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