it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
