Dual....:-)
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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