i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
