I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
