Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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