Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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