he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
And then he peed in my hair
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