508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
