I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
