New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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