I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
