Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
