Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
