It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
