I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i will never coherently bang her
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
