it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
