69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
