thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
