I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
