I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
