I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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