Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ketchup is God's man juice
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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