pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize